I have absolutely, no desire to see The Eye. In fact, I'm just going to preemptively say it sucks and ask that you boycott all sub-par American remakes of Asian cinema, by netflixing the original, instead.
I do want to see Persepolis soon, but we'll see how that goes.
Until then, I'm filling the reviewing void this week, by contributing to the internet Top 10 List trend. Before I go on, I must warn you of spoilers and some adult content in the list.
If you haven't seen: supercop, coffy, kill bill, the long kiss goodnight, crouching tiger hidden dragon, 28 days later, the matrix, aliens, death proof, or ghost in the shell then you may want to pass-over this list.
Here are my...
TOP 10 BADASS WOMEN'S MOVIE MOMENTS
#10 - THE LONG KISS GOODNIGHT - SAMANTHA CAINE/CHARLIE BALTIMORE SHOOTS TIMOTHY
The under-appreciated gem, The Long Kiss Goodnight has a great many fun scenes. The one that's most cheer-worthy, however, was the screaming death Charlie promised she'd give her nemesis, Timothy. In a truly inspired move, Charlie improvises a pulley-system using Christmas lights and the weight of a crispy henchman. Taking the burnt henchman's automatic weapon as she goes up, she guns down her nemesis. He does indeed die screaming, while she gloats.
WHY IS IT BADASS? Because of her finishing line: "Die screaming, muthaf*&^a!" and the fact that she does EXACTLY what she said she would. Second degree burns to the hand, be damned.
#9 - KILL BILL - BEATRIX SNATCHES OUT ELLE'S EYE
There are a great many kick-ass fight scenes in Kill Bill, but the one the got the biggest "OOOOOH!" from the people was Beatrix finishing what her respected master started. She snatched out Elle's other eye, completely blinding her. The kicker is her stepping on the eye and leaving her crazed, blinded, rival to flail in the tiny trailer, with only a poisonous snake to keep her company.
WHY IS IT BADASS? She SNATCHED. OUT. HER. EYE.
#8 - 28 DAYS LATER - SELENA CHOPS DOWN MARK
Selena scarcely gives her companion a moment to answer whether or not he's infected, before she chops him to bits, with her machete. Oddly, the reason she kills him is thrown out the door as blood splatters EVERYWHERE when she kills him. Not so concerned about infection when you're in "chop-chop" mode, ehh?
WHY IS IT BADASS? Because she didn't even give the man a chance to answer...and this is her friend, I mean dang, this is what we all say we would do in case of *zombies, but she really did not give a crap.
* yes, I know they aren't actually zombies, but they sure were wearing zombie uniforms.
#7 - GHOST IN THE SHELL - MOTOKO TAKES OUT BAD GUYS WHILE INVISIBLE
The ever influential cyber-punk masterpiece, Ghost in the Shell, has one of the most beautifully rendered opening sequences, ever. Motoko becomes invisible, takes out a bad guy (exploding his skull!) and then gracefully jumps from the building, allowing only a glimpse of her visage, as she goes.
WHY IS IT BADASS? There is something about being able to kick ass while naked. From Eddie in the novel, The Drawing of the Three to Viggo in Eastern Promises, if you're too busy kicking ass to be embarrassed, it's probably not a good idea to try you. Plus, if there were no Motoko, there'd be no Trinity.
#6 - DEATHPROOF - ZOE, ABERNATHY, AND KIM BEAT STUNTMAN MIKE TO DEATH
Women inflict a gang-style beat-down on a misogynistic murderer. As viscerally horrible as his beating is, you can cheer it because, he more than deserves it.
WHY IS IT BADASS? Did I mention it's women inflicting a gang-style beat-down on a misogynistic murderer? Between the metaphorical rape of his car and the cowardly way he reacts to women who can actually stand up for themselves, forget the molasses slow, gawd-awful, dialogue in the beginning. This multi-cultural beatdown is made of pure concentrated win.
#5 - SUPERCOP/POLICE STORY III - JESSICA YANG JUMPS A MOTORCYCLE ONTO A MOVING TRAIN
In Police Story III, a.k.a. Supercop, Michelle Yeoh performed a stunt that would forever cement her status as the most badass woman to ever grace the silver screen. She jumped a motorbike onto a moving train.
WHY IS IT BADASS? She (no, not a stuntwoman, SHE REALLY DID IT) jumped a motorbike onto a moving train. Zoe Bell, awesome as you are, eat your heart out.
#4 - COFFY - COFFY BLASTS A DRUG DEALER
Many would say Foxy Brown is Pam Grier's defining role. Well, for my money, the Pam Grier persona was created in one memorable moment in Coffy. That is the moment Pam drops the drug fiend act and disintegrates a drug pusher's head with the blast of her shotgun. Not, however, before taunting him, with what would become her trademark sass.
WHY IS IT BADASS? Well, besides the graphic view of brains exiting the back of the guy's skull, it's the reversal of expectations. The victim is actually the perpetrator. The pop-culture phenomenon based on a similar role-reversal premise, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, wouldn't come to be for another twenty years. So yes, I see Coffy as one of Buffy's fore-mammas.
#3 - THE MATRIX - TRINITY TELLS AGENT TO "DODGE THIS"
Sure, Neo may be "The One", but Trinity, wears the pants. She was responsible for the most cheer-worthy moment in the entire franchise. After an agent manages to clip Neo with a bullet, he moves in to finish him off. Trinity presses a rather large gun to his temple and orders him to "dodge this", which even an agent, apparently, cannot do.
WHY IS IT BADASS? Was it the matter-a-fact way she states her line? Was it the fine spray of blood while Trinity stands unflinching in the face of her powerful shot? Could it be the sunglasses and latex? I think it's all of the above.
#2 - CROUCHING TIGER, HIDDEN DRAGON - YU SHU LIEN FIGHTS JEN LU IN THE TRAINING HOUSE
Forget the the fact that it's two women. This is hands down one of the top movie fights, PERIOD. As graceful as it is brutal, Yeoh takes up every single weapon at the training house to defeat the amazing Green Destiny sword.
WHY IS IT BADASS? Did I mention it's two women who are responsible for one of the greatest martial arts battles filmed?
#1 - ALIENS - RIPLEY LOCKS AND LOADS IN THE ELEVATOR/CALLS OUT MAMMA ALIEN
I had to choose two scenes from Aliens. The ride down in the elevator is significant because Ripley looks more at home with all those weapons than Rambo. And of course, the moment Ripley emerges from the cargo bay, wearing that huge robotic suit and gives her infamous line, you just know, it's on.
WHY IS IT BADASS? Two words: Sigourney Weaver
HONORABLE MENTIONS
CHENG PEI PEI - She's a martial arts movie pioneer, having starred in films like Come Drink With Me and The Golden Swallow. There would be no Michelle Yeoh without her.
TAMARA DOBSON - Unlike, the more well-known blaxpoitation queen, Pam Grier, Tamara Dobson kept her clothes on, in her b-movie Bond-like film, Cleopatra Jones. While Pam was about boobs and sass, Tamara was about class.
FASTER PUSSYCAT, KILL! KILL! - Spawned from the big-bust-fetishy mind of Russ Meyer, these women, drive fast cars better then the boys, and of course, kill, kill.
So, what do you think?
Did I miss your favorite?
Leave a comment.
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16 comments:
I would have put Faster Pussycat higher on the list, definitely. Let's see...off the top of my head...
1) The Last Seduction. Always nice to see a female sociopath. Such a refreshing change. And it has girl on girl action, so men love this film.
2) Betty Blue, but ya gotta be in the mood for a film in French.
Jeanne Moreau in anything...The Bride Wore Black? just to watch her smoke a cigarette...ditto Simone Signoret....Diabolique.
3)Female Trouble, because I think I went to Middle School with those girls. I'm not sure Divine qualifies as "female," but it's Baltimore, Hon, so what the heck.
The City that really understands and never gave up on the beehive hairdo. Amy Winehouse should MOVE there. Stoned Amy climbs under the bars of her house gate. Girls in Baltimore are behind bars. Oh yeah. In this film, Divine gets the chair. I think John Waters has an electric chair in his home. Quite the conversation piece.
4) A Question of Silence. Pissed off Dutch women. Do you think it's because they wear trees on their feet?
5) Smila's Sense of Snow. The movie sucks. The book wasn't bad, especially the parts about the qualities of ice. Anyway. Shrug. You don't fuck around with Smila. And yeah..she's pissed off, too. It's a cultural-gender-ice thing.
6) Venus in Furs. Based on the novel by Leopold Von Sader-Massoch. A woman owns a man, straps him to a cart and makes him pull it through her field like an ox. 'nuff said.
7) 10 Things I Hate About You. You've got Julia Stiles with that perpetual pout of a mouth and those mean pig slitty eyes and you've got dead Heath Ledger, and Julia uses verbal assault as foreplay..know what I mean? The kind of girl where some men really get off on her, and you think "I've got your number." I worked with a woman like that. I'm surprised she didn't come to work in leather with a whip.
8) All About Eve. The Queen. Bette Davis...with some of the best lines ever written for the movies.
9) Body Heat. Kathleen Turner..back when she still had a figure. Everyone always gets off on the breaking in and slamming her to the wall scene. I always loved it when everyone in the conference room lit up a cigarette...or when William Hurt is out jogging and pauses to have a smoke. Anyway, bitch on wheels and lives the life fantastic...walks away with murder.
10) The Cook, The Thief, His Wife and Her Lover. Helen Mirren. I haven't seen this one in a while, but I do remember her feeding her husband the genitals of her murdered lover. Yeah. I know. And you thought she was all mummsified and safe.
Postscript: Marlene Dietrich in ANYTHING. I highly recommend Shanghai Express, The Scarlett Empress, Morocco, and if you can find a copy of it (and it's never shown other than AFI)..Dishonored. That last scene with Marlene in the snow, in front of a firing squad, and she stops them to adjust her stockings and put on fresh lipstick. It doesn't get any better than that.
This is a great list - if you hadn't Dugg it already, I was set to. I hyped it up on ShowHype as well.
You already have a Pam Grier entry on here, but I would have loved to see some Jackie Brown on here as well...
@Fletch
Thanks, man! :)
As for Jackie Brown, it's cool, but I thought one Pam Grier slot and two Tarentinos were good.
@Washington Cube
Some interesting choices on this list, but I was going more for kicking ass in the literal sense of the word, rather than in the sexual sense of it.
Thank god you mentioned Aliens - because, I mean it's the ultimate bad ass chick moment ever.
GET AWAY FROM HER YOU BITCH!
Hi -- I'm crashing on to your blog from the DCBlogs site. One more nominee: Linda Hamilton in Terminator II. There's various scenes, but one that really stands out is her doing chinups in her cell and building up those biceps even if she's locked up. (Well there's also her in paramilitary black, loading up on all the weapons in the desert.)
I would also add badass Eowyn from Lord of the Rings, when she takes the head right off that Nazgul and says, "I am no man!" ...Though towards the bottom of the list, since she was much tougher in the book.
@lou
I did consider putting Linda Hmailton on the list, but she was just a strong woman in general.
I don't think she had a badass moment that really stood out in that movie.
...But then again, beating down that pervy nurse with a nightstick...
And in a similar vein, Beatrix, her "nurse", and a heavy door, 'nuff said.
@jobless
Now, that is a major ommision. I forgot all about Eowyn!
And yes, that moment "I am no man. *facestab!*" got the biggest cheer, I remember, in a theater, regardless of gender.
Top 5, definitely.
Great list! Love Coffy AND Foxy Brown. I concur on Eowyn, and "*facestab!*" cracked me up.
Sure Top Ten Lists are always out there, but this is a great one. Unique and fun. That was a great moment in 28 Days Later which is still one of my top picks. Obviously Aliens would be at the top. I know Weaver has been in a lot of stuff after Aliens, but it just seems like she doesn't have that intensity anymore. I barely even notice that she is in films these days.
Hi, great list. Tarantino sure knows how to write his tough women.
Glad to see some anime love :)
I love Pam Grier, she's so fierce! I may be in the minority here, but I think Angelina Jolie has been bad ass in a few of her roles: Mr. & Mrs. Smith, Tomb Raider, Gone in Sixty Seconds, just to name a few.
Great list ... Being way too much a Francophile than I probably should be, I'd definitely put a vote in for Anne Parillaud in "La Femme Nikita," just about the baddest hitwoman or man in movie history
Good Job! :)
very very good posting....I like your writing...
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