EAGLE EYE

This was the stupidest piece of crap movie I've seen since Jumper. It was so awful, in fact, a couple actually got up and walked out in the middle of a FREE SCREENING.

Imagine a cross between Enemy of the State and the 80's Tom Selleck vehicle Runaway minus the robot spiders with a female HAL in the Gene Simmons' role, pumped up with terrorism paranoia....but much more stupid than that sounds.

That's this movie.

So, what made it so bad?...Besides the above? Well, for one thing, script is jaw-droppingly awful. Virtually every word uttered is sprinkled with idiocy. That's not just for the absurd amounts of suspension of disbelief required, because there's so little logic even within that framework.

It was so bad, I was too pissed at this thing to even heckle it. I just sat there in awe, shaking my head and occasionally chuckling.

It really is a shame too because Shia, despite giving off a strong vinegary bouquet whenever he's not acting truly is a gifted natural performer. He gives good tears here which is more than I can say for a good many Academy Award holders.

One of the more subtle messages here about the relationship between untapped potential and achievement is pounded like so much unyielding dough. It's been done better in other films.

All of that could be almost forgiven if it were fun, but no, it really isn't. And so, the Hollywood movie drought continues...


It wasn't quite the endurance-test of Jumper, but the suck-level was high.


PARENTS: If your tween liked Disturbia, which I thought was a similar pile of crap, but less-so than this...They may enjoy a matinée of this.


P.S. I saw this in high-def IMAX and now I am certain. Sports, wildlife, and gorgeous special-effects ONLYPLEASE. I do not need to be distracted by Rosario's blemishes.

I'll take the crackly old-school movie prints with hairs, scratches, and burn spots dancing all over the screen over this.

P.P.S. On the capped photo...WTH was up with the female computer calling Rachel (Michelle Monaghan) "the female"? ...Jealousy?

And here we have more proof that our mid-east brethren are the new expendable negroes. Here we had just barely an intro before he was randomly killed in a very jacked-up way, as a demo of the phonevoice's power.

NOT COOL.