APPALOOSA

It's a western done in classic style. That's full of tensely polite put-downs, the law and the outlaws, and quick-drawing men who wear the tale of their hard-killing lives in the wrinkles on their faces and in the coldness of their eyes.

Now, I have to preface this by saying I grew up on the old school westerns, by way of my Gary Cooper-loving mom. Back then, however, I never really appreciated the quiet sophisticated tension, which ultimately built to that finale of a gun-battle. In fact, I usually whined about having to watch a movie like High Noon on a Sunday afternoon. I preferred my Creature Features, like Swamp Thing or my Johnny Weissmuller Tarzan movies.

But I grew to love them. I enjoyed the spaghetti westerns of Eastwood and I still watch Tombstone every time it's on TNT. Unforgiven on the other hand, underwhelmed me. I thought it was thoroughly overrated. Nicely filmed, great performances, but boring.

And yet, I LOVE the awesomely-bad Sharon Stone vehicle The Quick and the Dead, mainly for Spotted 'cannot be killed with a bullet!' Horse and Gene Hackman's appropriately over-the-top performance. So, that should give you a little insight into my oft'warped taste and whether or not you think you might agree with my assessment of this film.

That said, I really liked this movie. There were no camera tricks nor slow-motion shots to be seen here. Everything feels as quick or as slow you'd think it ought to. Even the bullet cracks sound abruptly realistic, all lending to that classic-feel. The cinematography is good, but not nearly as pretty as The Assassination of Jesse James..., but that makes it even more appropriately retro.

As you'd expect, Ed Harris and Viggo Mortenson do wonderfully with their roles. Their relationship was my favorite aspect of this movie. Renée Zellweger's role was my least-liked aspect of the film. I did not like the way she was written and played.

Though after the fact, I did come to realize her part was very true to what it was for many women trying to survive in those times.

I was also distracted by her odd appearance. Stop mucking with the one of the biggest instruments of your craft, Renée!

When your eyes and cheeks smile, but nothing else above does....Well, let's just say not only was it distracting, but it made certain aspects of her character less surprising because she didn't initially appear as she was supposed to.

It was good to see Jeremy Irons again in fine form again (thank you, for your efforts to erase the memory of Dungeons and Dragons *shudder*).

Overall, this film is perfect for a Sunday afternoon.

The only other criticism I have for Appaloosa is that it felt like a rental. Not that it's any less good, but it just felt a like a smaller, more intimate affair meant for your living room while dinner's cooking.

Hence, the rating.


PARENTS: There are naked booties from afar, fist fights, shootings, and plenty of quiet-but-crackling dialogue. I'd say the quiet western loving mature tweens might be able to handle it but none below that age-set.


P.S. Back to Renée for a bit, I think it's a testimony to our sexist leanings, that we require women to look artificial for these decidedly unartificial times portrayed, but the men can and usually do look realistically worn.

I can't blame her too much. She's got to play to stay in the game.