May 24, 2009
If it's not an R-rated movie directed by James Cameron, it ain't a Terminator movie.
I'll get straight to the point.
This movie is crap. It's so bad, I have angry flaily-hands about it, you guys. It's so bad, it should have been a direct to DVD release, because that's for sure, what it felt like.
First of all, Christian Bale is NOT the star, so do not be taken in by the bait-in-switch marketing they have going right now. Some random Aussie, Hollywood is trying to "make happen" is. That's Sam Worthington, who is BTW, the most uncharismatic actor on the planet.
So, why do I have such a seething hatred for this film?
Listen, guys. I'm a TERMINATOR fan from way back. And when I saw Christian Bale was going to be in this reboot, I actually got my hopes up. Say what you will about the anger-management issues (full of hilarity, I say), dude rarely makes straight-up bad movies. And this piece of crap is worse than NEWSIES.
It truly is something a poisoned triceratops might poop out.
I have a REAL problem with inconsistencies in the abilities of villains. If ONE terminator in the first movie is more frightening than ALL of the bots in this damn movie?! Something is wrong.
Someone please tell me why the same Terminator that punched clean through a guy just to get some clothes just randomly tosses John-friggin'-Connor around?!...the one guy they've been trying to kill for four frakkin' movies?!!
...And the movie was BOR-ING.
Big explosions? Just aren't enough. There has to be a point. And if the point is STUPID...which it was... I. DON'T. CARE.
You know it's bad when you're wishing a kid would die, just for SOMETHING, ANYTHING interesting happening.
I blame McG because really... You have Christian Bale, Bryce Dallas Howard, Anton Yelchin (who actually looked and acted exactly like a young Kyle Reese, he's the only good part of this), and Helena Bonham Carter and they were wasted here. These talents, actually looked bad because McG didn't know what the heck he was doing.
Oh, and the plot. OH, THE PLOT. Cyberdyne Systems creates the protector, this time. ...ON PURPOSE. This is their ultimate plan. I kid you not.
Oh, the stupid. IT HURTS!!!
Please, PLEASE save your money.
Just like THE MATRIX, I'm just going to pretend the other movies don't exist.
...They only made 2 TERMINATOR movies, okay?! *cries*
Yeah, just go see STAR TREK, again.
P.S. AND WTF @ The random INDN WARPAINT?!! ...Had Moon Bloodgood looking like a broke-ass Pris, from BLADERUNNER...
Hollywood? Just so you know... Adding random primitive "ethnic"-looking accoutrements to MODERN minorities IS STUPID. Might as well have put a bone in Sam L.'s nose in PULP FICTION or blue warpaint on Colin Ferrell in MINORITY REPORT.